Thirty or so years ago, when my friends and I were getting married, weddings were a fairly simple undertaking. They were nearly always at church, with the reception held in the fellowship hall.
There was a wedding cake (groom's cakes hadn't been invented, I guess), punch, maybe some coffee for the older folk, a bowl of salted peanuts, and the proverbial pastel mints. If things were really uptown, there would be finger sandwiches.
The bridal party would stand in a receiving line, and the guests would walk by and hug and congratulate. We'd have some cake, laugh at the garter and bouquet tosses, and then throw rice at the departing couple. The whole thing was over in an hour and a half.
Since my husband and I eloped, our costs were minimal: blood test, marriage license, and judge's fee.
My first exposure to different wedding customs was when my sister married a man who grew up in New York. Held in Long Island, that was the first wedding I'd been to where guests brought cards containing money. It was also the first wedding reception I'd attended that featured a sit-down dinner and dancing. It even offered an ice cream bar, which I thought was pretty cool. That reception went on for hours.
For a long period I didn't attend any weddings. Everyone I ran around with was already married and busy raising kids. By the time our kids were old enough to start getting married, the world had changed. Man, how it had changed.
Onewed.com says the average wedding cost (including honeymoon) in 2003 was $20,000 to $25,000. That's what we paid for our first house. The average cost quoted includes such things as videography and limo transport, which not all brides choose. It also figures that the apparel for the mother of the bride will run $900. (Where do those women shop?)
Our oldest daughter, Jill, was married in 1997. We still had two daughters in school and were paying college expenses. To economize, I made her bridesmaids' dresses and used silk flowers for everything but the bridal bouquet. Since the ceremony was at our church, there was no rental cost. My sister did the photography and did a great job. We did use a hotel banquet room for the reception. Everyone had a great time, and it didn't break the bank.
In the nine years since, as I was busy enjoying my grandkids, I was lulled into complacency, never dreaming that our two remaining daughters would become engaged within weeks of each other and plan their weddings for dates only 11 weeks apart - first week in April, last week in June. These days, weddings are much on my mind.
Joanna and Janet are practical and economical (God bless 'em), so their plans don't include videography and limousines. They'll be happy events, and we'll celebrate, but the girls don't want to go crazy. So the overall costs are not the scary factor, rather the fact that we're juggling planning for two events so close together.
I can go years wthout buying a new dress, and now I need two. (But they won't cost $900 each, that's for sure).
My granny used to refer to "running around like a chicken with its head cut off." I think my head's still on my neck, but I do feel a bit like I'm going in circles.
It will all be wonderful. In the meantime, I'm watching for a sale on Stresstabs.
(Dallas Morning News Neighbors 3-04-06)
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