One Husband, One Wife Should be Enough

The newspaper headline read, "Utah court orders removal of judge with three wives."

Recently un-benched Walter Steed has served for 25 years on the Justice Court in the "polygamist community" of Hildale, Utah.

Of course the obvious first question that comes to my mind is how on earth this guy could have been allowed to sit in judgment on fellow citizens while he was violating Utah's law against bigamy, considered a three-degree felony. Steed legally wed his first wife in 1965, then added his second and third "wives" in 1975 and 1985, and has 32 children by the three women.

The legal (I should say illegal) aspects annoy me. But the psychological and practical aspects astonish me.

I've never really comprehended how any guy could get away with bigamy for long. I guess if a man travels a lot in his job it makes it easier to hide illicit behavior, but how does he hide the fact that he wasn't actually registered at Motel 6 but was instead at his second home?

Apparently in Steed's part of Utah, there's no need for pretense.

Consider the physical presence of 32 children. Did they all share one giant house? Did they have three separate houses? Did he rotate locations for dinner? How do you tuck 32 kids into bed at night? My husband and I have three daughters, and there were many times that we felt pulled in too many directions with all of their (and our) activities. How on earth can you give adequate parental time to 32 children? Can you imagine the grocery and clothing and doctor bills? The car insurance costs? College costs?

Utah must pay its judges really well.

When Jack and I married, he played golf, basketball, tennis, soccer, and baseball, and I was sometimes jealous of the time he devoted to those pursuits. I'm trying to imagine him having another couple of women added to that mix, and it's not a happy picture. No way can I wrap my mind around the possibility of one husband dividing his time, and his affection, and his obligations, between three women.

But here's the absolutely astonishing corker: the three women with whom Steed has been consorting are sisters! You've got to be kidding me! My sister and I couldn't even share clothing without argument; the idea of sisters sharing a husband is mind-boggling. Even worse is trying to draw this family tree -eeuuw. Kids who are first cousins are also half-siblings. That's appalling, as well as genetically scary.

Making a marriage work well, especially where there are children involved, takes a lot of time and effort, and that's just one husband and wife at a time.

Thank God that's enough for most of us.

(DeSoto Today 3-09-06)